The Starcrossed Hilarity
by MeLaNch0LYdreams
Summary: Love at first sight-how cliché! It’s natural if you’re a teenage boy who falls head over heels for a beautiful girl during a Shakespeare play. Now what adolescent Quilette wolf would fall for a certain male vampire forced into starring as Juliet?Jacob.
1. Damn Juliet!

The Star-crossed Hilarity

_The Star-crossed Hilarity_

By:Bushra Khan

Summary: Love at first sight-how cliché! It's natural if you're a teenage boy who falls head over heels for a beautiful girl during a Shakespeare play. Now what adolescent Quilette wolf would fall for a certain male vampire forced into starring as Juliet? Jacob Black didn't. NO SPOILERS!

Disclaimer: Not complete copyright of Steph, I don't own Smexy Edward or sweet Jacob happy?

**Preface**

**Fall in love-it's what all the cool kids are doing?!**

Jacob Black was not the poetic type. He liked creating things and good hands on experience. He was a sucker for Isabella Swan who lured him into Shakespeare's work.

She was pretty,pratical,older and my father's best friend's daughter. We were best friends too. She had no interest in boys as far as the word went by her. So how did it start?

Edward.Edward._Edwrad _Cullen. It was really annoying to be around this girl and her romances. He was a strange hunky guy. I get it! She was really indebted to me so I dared to her audition in her own school play; Romeo and Juliet. She was going to get me back someday but I know I was in for a show.

As expected she stammered, kept her eyes downcast, flushed, and tripped numerous times. She could not lie convincingly to herself then how could she lie in front of an audience the way she is.

It was a poor production. 12 people tried out for the major roles. What poor princes and princesses were rejected but nobody could quiet grasp and act for this play. It was all funny and I was glad I thought of this.

Eventually we watched the actual act since they must have found good enough people to act. Hopefully.

The Caplets' and The Montagues weren't angry enough at each other, watching two angry women disguised as men in expensive robes pretend to shout at each other causing war with themselves. It was horrible. Some events were changed around to introduce the Stars later. Bella and I sneered and snorted continously at the bogus actinbg. Who wanted to pay two dollars to see this?

When Juliet appeared-our breathes caught in our throats. She had the look of disdain with long thick framed lashes, bronze hair rhat fell below her shoulder blades. Bone white and she looked at the crowd with frozen topaz eyes. Lanky and began to speak in a Soprano with perfect clarity. Girls and gyus couldn't leave the Juliet as she acted. It was like we were in the olden times already. We were seeing the princess in the flesh! Bella could have hyperventalated if that was her mystery dream boy.

Romeo had similar golden eyes his acting just as good with honey blonde hair and the look of agony as he confessed to her and the tragedies that could commence. They looked practically the same with their pale faces and golden eyes. The unmistakable beauty. Since when did he go all descriptive? Chances are that he wouldn't see that girl again. Way to good a chance to believe in. though I dared the question.

"You know her?" I whispered huskily in my rough voice.

"Her?No…that's him.Edward Cullen and his brother Jasper." She admitted in awe.

….excuse me what? I just felll for Bella/s dream boy?


	2. AliceIHATEYOU

The Star-crossed Hilarity

_The Star-crossed Hilarity_

By: Bushra Khan

_A/N: Hey guys! It's been a while since I've made a note (ya right) I don't like Rising Solstice as much as I thought so I'll focus on this fic! I've read so much twilight yaoi that it's in my blood! So I'll continue on this fic!_

Disclaimer: Not complete copyright of Steph, I don't own Sexy Edward or sweet Jacob happy?

**Colorblind and your love's red hot!**

Edward Cullen stayed unnerved under Alice's intense scrutiny she made little comparisons on our natural or vampire beauty. Her sinister plan was covered up by thoughts of Shakespeare. What was she doing? She stood abruptly from the lunch table and dances around to where Isabella Swan, her human friend. I couldn't hear her thoughts and wasn't intrigued by the mystery she bring with her. I was still suspicious so I used my natural hearing instead of my gift.

"Hey Bella! I heard your Quilette friend got you to audition for Romeo and Juliet am I right?" He felt her smirk animatedly. He could feel Bella's chagrin and blood rush to her face. Other than his vampire side eh strained towards Alice's questions and answers.

"I'm making the costumes and I am scouting Actors, have any suggestions?" It's like Alice knew the answer and Bella just had to nod to confirm their suspicions. In the hundred years I lived I could not get a word they exchanged. What did my looks and Bella auditioning for a play and her thoughts had to do with me? She didn't seem the girl to crush on me but she could prove me wrong. Emmett and Jasper snorted and I glared. They were keeping me out. What was this about? Jasper seemed to be less happy with this then Emmett and I took that into account.

I did hear them gamble like idiots and already I was furious.

"60 that Edward's on the _red side."_

"30 he's flip tonight."

"Man that's predictable choose another outcome."

"I hate this more than he is."

No wonder this involved tiny annoying Alice.

--

Against the impossible odds-Edward had cross dressed as The Capulet girl who dies which he hadn't. He kept his face smooth and tried not to draw attention to the fact that Romeo happened to be Jasper and How Carlisle and Esme ranted about doing something theatrical since we are so into the arts. If somebody forced me into a play I would accept. Not as the only Juliet of **the** Romeo and Juliet. He'd rather be a tree in his past life.

Not the whole town knew that the Mysterious Cullen children are acting in the done up school's play. If there's a God kill me now!

He kept his eyes down the whole time to not give himself away with the incredible amount of make up Alice forced upon him and hair extensions that were his exact color of hair which **DID NOT HELP HIM.** So he firmly stood over the arch with his face in his hands, he saw Bella Swan sitting with a Quilette that didn't stink like Dog with disturbed expressions. The Quilette hopefully did not know him but he stared over the crowd's head at him with the newly thickly framed lashes at the boy. He was lost in his own shock so nobody could note the interest in my eyes that froze into his dark ones. Interesting.

"Pay up Jazz." Emmett smirked below as Jasper and I retired from the performance. No way in hell was I going to kiss my brother.

"What?"

"The _**crowd." **_The brawny vampire emphasized. DAMNITT WHAT WAS IT!

"Jazz.I see it.The crowd so pay your 90."

Things would just have to unfold sooner or later but the 15 year old's awe was just slightly diferent from jealous,lust,and joy that he had seen tonight. He could read his thoughts and then tried to forget what he ahd just heard

…._excuse me what? I just felll for Bella's dream boy?_

Yes…..Interest…


	3. Unnapetizing

_The Star-crossed Hilarity_

By: Bushra Khan

Disclaimer: Not complete copyright of Steph, I don't own Smexy Edward or sweet Jacob happy?

**2. ****Unappetizing **

"You 're inviting the Quilette and Bella to a formal human dinner?" Edward's bronze brow raised and Alice beamed at him in response. An awkward silence followed.

"You're an idiot." He concluded as he slipped into his dressing room to block her non virgin eyes as he changed out of the wig and dress. If he changed quickly enough, nobody would notice it was him playing the part.

"Hey! We all know you're gay for the adolescent! It shows!" she spoke defiantly, he chocked loudly on air.

So that was the bet! Of course he would have ripped their heads off and burn them if he had come to know earlier.

"Alice…If you want to keep that pretty little smile of yours, I suggest you leave now." He suggested. Already she was gone. With her disappearance came many other thoughts. The dominant were lust, admiration, and eagerness. He breathed an aggravated sigh and escaped the back window.

He would still have to attend this charade with the slightest interest of getting to see Jacob Black-and already he was using the boy's full name…

"Dinner?" Bella's jaw dropped, her doe like eyes in disbelief. The Quilette at her same height feigned an obvious expression.

"Maybe Bella can go but I am **forbidden** to enter the Cullen house." He rolled his dark set eyes. Bella automatically wore a guilty expression.

"I'll call up Charlie, he won't tattle." She promised.

"Nah, I'm fine." He began to walk away, in truth he did want to see Edward Cullen but things would go weirdly if he came anyway.

"Come on Black, we'd enjoy an unwelcome guest." A smooth voice prompted.

"Edward!"

He whirled around to find Edward Cullen without the hair extensions and dress. He was going to miss that, only evidence he was straight anymore-he had the excuse that he didn't know it was a male.

Now there were no words, like when he had come on stage, was it possible that he was more beautiful than before?

His face burned in realization, Bella had the worry crease between her brows with a slightly irritated expression.

"Who's asking?" His smirk over his perfect teeth widened.

"Just call him Jake," Alice said monotonously, not in the mood.

She tossed her cell which eh grabbed before it hit his face.

He dialed slowly to rile the already glaring Alice and Bella.

"Dad?"

"Yeah we went?-Horrible actors mnhmn, one of her friends invited us over for dinner can we go?"

There was a long silence as the muted ancient voice spoke.

"Yeah..I ya at Nine." He snapped it closed with minimal force.

"Stay away from the Cullens my ass" he muttered, except the vampires could hear.

"I guess I'm coming now, let's go." He said quickly. Storming away, Bella followed behind with a strange look on her face.

"'Make sure you don't run in with the Cullens.'" Edward informed Alice in a low attractive voice, keeping his monotone expression.

She raised her perfect brows in disbelief and shrugged. Jacob Black's thoughts revolved around the Romeo Juliet play, trying not to dwell on who played the Juliet. Edward hid his smirk and it disappeared as Emmett came by with sour looking Jasper. Then Jasper brightened and Emmett looked like a puckered lemon. They came by us, Jasper with gloating glee on his face like he won the lottery.

"899$ that he didn't make a move pay up." Jasper whispered. I wore Emmett's sour expression as Alice walked to the foyer to retrieve her Porsche that they attended in the back. Jasper disappeared like a breeze with Alice and he looked straight at Emmett, Jacob and Bella out of hearing range.

"I hate you for putting it on me that I'm gay, which even I don't know." Edward said in a fake surprised tone at the exclamation.

"And hate even more that I'd do **more indecent** things with this stranger wolf boy." He brought out sarcastically. Emmett was rigid. When Edward was in a rage, strength didn't compare as much too simply keep him _off._

"My point." He growled, and disappeared like Jasper with the wind.

The Ostentatious car pulled up and within an instant, the humans marveled over the car

"A 911 Turbo engine…" he was stunned beyond belief due to Jasper's humorous expression. His mind's thoughts were incoherent over the shocking appearance of the yellow sports car.

Alice's deep gold eyes rolled and they all entered the car regardless. Edward whirled around in another direction.

"Where are you going?" Emmett yelled, startling a three year old very far away.

"I'm driving." He lied smoothly. He disappeared and ran wildly in the forests behind the school , taking off like a bullet. Only the werewolf was aware and turned his attention away.

' It's unappetizing to be in a car with a puppy. '

Edward laughed to himself, exhilarated by running.

A/N: Sorry guys! I was typing chapter four without realizing it!


	4. Fire and Ice

_The Star crossed Hilarity_

Jacob Black stared at the laughing Juliet Capulet-I mean Edward Cullen. He seemed to drive insanely fast to arrive there. Given the not long car ride (Alice drove at a human speed to not frighten him) but he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was out of place, and it wasn't for men to be insanely beautiful, especially this stranger. Then again, he badly wished that he had never went to the play, even though perfectly acted.

Bella smiled, tinted a light pink. Although it wasn't so uplifting anymore. A little tedious, and something guilty inside nagged at his thoughts. As if it was a crime to fall in love with your best friend's crush. He uneventfully followed the rebuffed backs of Jasper and Emmett, brawny and Romeo. If they were angry they could have said so. We seemed to be-by popular vote, eating with the elusive Cullen's. Bella didn't gossip, her and Alice were quite good friends.

His thoughts cut off as things gradually got sharper, his mind reeled, adjusting to the change. On que, his senses heightened. Once a dull hunger, grew to the point as if he hadn't eaten in days. His hearing skyrocketed, hearing things I couldn't hear before.

_**'Why do we have to invite the human and werewolf?**' he picked up the smooth voice of Emmett._

_'__**He hasn't evolved yet . We can tolerate him until then.'**__ Jasper muttered._

_**'He can hear what your saying.'**_ _Edward whispered strained._

It sounded like rubbish, he couldn't decipher what they meant. What was that an insult, being sarcastic? It sounded genuine, and it didn't appear to be an inside joke if the Quilette could hear it. His felt a current temperature of heat run over my skin. He didn't recall having this kind of reaction to irritation.

_**'So stop insulting him. He's not a werewolf'**_ Edward seemed to add hastily. He quickly relaxed. His skin still felt hot on the outside. Was he blushing. Bella's shoelace caught a pebble and sharp branch, she stumbled before Emmett, and I caught her arm reflexively. I would usually would laugh at her if I would help her in previous of that. She widened her eyes, her face cute but lacked appeal.

Edward laughed. I looked in his direction to glare, but almost caught my breathe. I had crushed before, my heart swell in surprise to newfound affection. Everything within me became new. I invited it, wanting badly to ditch my jacket. It was a sweltering thing. Ignoring the option of being sick, I pulled it off. Edward stopped his humorous laughing, it became nervous from my glare/fond look after I averted my makeshift glare.

I tasted hormones and doubt. It wasn't authentic. He felt more, and could feel he wasn't in denial but so oddly tempting. Even with the new senses I didn't register that we were at the dinner table, or that the doctor and his wife smiled and greeted me until I was standing before an exquisite chair. Bella's lighter brown eyes stared sarcastically in mine, I caught the hint to clumsily fold myself to sit on the fine seating. Conveniently I sat across from my newfound crush. My thoughts scrambled into a mess, so I concentrated on the dark blue fine patterns. In my peripheral vision, I saw a tight unpleasant smile on his lips. Did his family dislike my presence that much.

'_**No. No they don't. Don't take it like that, it's unjust.'**_ I caught, the whisper of his voice, beautiful and clearly Edwards'. I barely had time to react as my head came up, forming a reply with the quirk of my lips-but food was set in front of me, and I remembered my stomach.

Bella stared at me in her peripheral vision with the slightest roll of her eyes if I hadn't heightened my senses and we weren't in the obscenely rich house of the Cullen's. I faintly wished I was being more polite, forced cause I never usually pigged out at the 18th century mannered family. Edward chuckled quietly. Bella didn't seem to notice it, so it was just me. The plate of food once full, was empty. I looked up embarrassingly to see the children of polite parents literally play with their food, as if expensive cuisine didn't fascinate them. Edward picked up a rotini, dirtying his hands with sauce, ruining it between perfect fingers. I imagined something-it wasn't dirty at first, but sent shivers down my back.

I was trying to piece it together, no food,beautiful,smart,rich. These things people work their whole lives for, and they obtained it within a century, I imagined the gold eyes of Edward, staring down at his prey with a sexy predatory stare, biting down at what seemed an appetizing neck the image changed based on nightmares. When my mother died, I believed it was vampires at first. The image **did** get down and dirty almost immediately.

When I mean down, I mean somewhere uncomfortable,sweaty, and being pulled. When I mean dirty I mean being pulled, it would result in pleasure-and guess who was doing it! Damn hormones! I hit my head on the table, but the plate got in the way and my head made a huge crack on it. I looked up feebly and apologetic. Gold eyes held humor as Edward bit into the grainy pasta like delight. I blushed, madly so. Alice looked at me strangely, Emmett cracked a tight smile, Jasper was turned away, I could hear his resonating laugh that no many could pick up. The blond woman-(could've played Juliet, would save me one less person to being me out of the closet)-Rosalie looked at me with indiscreet distaste at my action of non gentry, Carlisle and Esme shared a look with Alice, and they were usually knowing.

'_**Ow.**_' The family as well as Bella laughed in impulse, merry and _gay _with the turn of events. Isn't homosexuality a big word?

Despite the eyes, I couldn't catch the speed of Alice as she had taken my plate. She danced gracefully to me with a humorous quirked mouth. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You can leave you know, or hang out with lamo Ed there." I blinked in confusion.

"_Edward?"_ I nodded very noticeably and Bella smiled again. We both got up and I looked to Bella, she chatted idly with Alice and I nudged her, she waved me off with a smile. I was beyond guilty now, she wasn't aware what I might do...as if my guilt showed, she smiled a little fakely to encourage me, I hated her for it but smiled back as I followed the bronze god up the winding stairs.

"Get along' she whispered. I blushed, taking it the other way.

He didn't bother introducing rooms-I found that strange, he seemed the 'polite-suck-up' type, but I was mostly wrong about those things. Like Alice, he was fast and beautiful in a way I never could be. There was a hard expression on his face I couldn't decipher, but it was furtive. Anticipation recoiled in my stomach, what if he wasn't what Bella thought he was? What if he was thinking of fighting Jacob right this moment?

_**'My room'**_ he muttered. I prepared myself for whatever mental or physical onslaught there was to come. Why was I disliked so much? He kicked the door open , and I thought I saw a white nearly invisible crack form on the white drywall door. I saw him flinch, probably in pain from doing that. As I prepared, my body felt hot, a little hotter as the atmosphere grew thicker.

"It's killing me." he confessed agonizingly. The heat started to evaporate as I grew confused.

"Pardon?" Edward had turned away, his back to me. I realized he had no bed, with millions of rows of CD's. I found that odd. Must have rooms to spare.

"No, I don't." It felt like gibberish to me. What was he answering?

"You. It's killing me because you don't know what we are and you're taking advantage of that." I pondered the plural. I was fitting the early imagination plus the superstitious tales my father told me.

"When you mean 'we'..." I couldn't finish, there were other tales but I didn't want to acknowledge it.

"In this case, I mean you and I, but putting it that way-my whole coven versus your pack." he spoke so bluntly. I felt my face drain and my face hot, my mind scape swam with my acquired knowledge....Why else had he answered my thoughts? The reason he'd been laughing-at my expense.

"You bastard." was all I could speak. He showed his face now, entirely hurt, begging for forgiveness. I steeled myself to bitter thoughts.

"Is that why you keep Bella around? Is that why you tolerate me?" Something shattered within me, I hope he heard it.

"No."

"Why Then?! Why does a sicko like _**you**_ have to plague my mind?!-" My voice started to raise, and I knew that they would be able to hear me.

"I don't know! In these past two days, I didn't know what would happen. Now all I worry about is you. When you look at me-I don't know, something shifted! I knew who you were, what you would become-why it was so wrong, but when you can live forever, what can you live for Jacob Black?"

My throat got thick. Whatever smart rich insult I had thought of dissipated, but how would I know that he wasn't lying? My mind was my safe haven, and he could invade it and tell me what I wanted to hear.

He stepped to me, I hadn't realized our arguing distance, my face burned. He pressed lips to mine, and it was rude to stare, but I got lost in his ochre eyes, as I soon gave in, I leaned, and our lashes curled. My knees gave weak beneath me and we were into each other on his long leather couch, I breathed in through my nose, drinking in his Honey and lilac scent, my erection grew heat on his stomach and he reached down to relive it. His icy cold hand brought noises to my busy lips. The door creaked and I should have pulled away but we didn't. I heard the sounds of emotion to rich to be a stranger.

Bella witnessed us.

A.N: this will be bad news for some who read this story-I am going on vacation to Bangladesh for a month starting on the 22nd and not coming back till the twelfth of January, so I don't know if I can update between this week and the next because I have so many exams and projects to complete! So more good fics will develop I am sure, but don't forget mine. I also hated the Twilight movie-Rob is just not our Edward. Some may disagree but R&R, If you all take the time to review, maybe authors would update sooner! I like getting alerts and all for this story, (My average is six per day on this story)but reviews help and give us proof we are popular, iF I get 18 reviews by the time I get back from Bangladesh, 5 chapters will be immediately typed! So tell your friends and fans!

**+Bushra+**


	5. Answers for Adele

An answer to Adele's questions on The Star crossed Hilarity-

Hmm.. I'm terribly confused! =S

B:That makes both J

You're writing jumps around quite a bit and is hard for me to follow.

B: I'll have to work on that then.

I think that the story idea could be funny and interesting... But I'm just not following...  
I have many questions...

B: Then I'll answer them to the best of my ability.

Whose POV is this story being written from?

B: Each chapter, belongs to Edward, and another to Jacob. The story originally started with Jacob but I was tempted to write the second chapter in another perspective. I understand when I describe Jacob and his thoughts, they sound third person but it's really first person, seeing as this story is set as unpredictable as a werewolf's decision ;)

Are the Cullens vampires?  
B: yes. Said gold eyes = vegetarian vampires.

Is Jacob a werewolf?

B: Becoming.

Has the Romeo & Juliet play already been preformed, or were those just the auditions?

B: They had already seen the previous auditions and saw the actual play, because Edward was factored in at the last moment By Alice in chapter two

Did Bella audition?

B : In chapter 1, she had but failed as you see from Jacob's POV

Does Bella know about the Werewolf/Vampire world?

B: No, Alice just wants to have a friend like Bella because of Jacob's involvement before he becomes a werewolf

Is Jacob in love with EDWARD or did he just think he was in love with Juliet?

B: At first, he thought honestly that he liked Edward in girl's clothing-but just a few things about the vampire got him obsessed and he sees the things Bella sees despite their lack of meeting

Is Edward in love with Jacob?

As far as vampire feelings go- He's infatuated and obsessed over the quick liking Jacob has taken to him despite their races and 'hate' they should possess towards another. Like Romeo and Julliet, Their families are the Capulet's and Montague's of the Supernatural world. Their feelings are taken as hilarious, hence the title ; The Star crossed Hilarity

I'd like to see where the story goes, but the POV and such jumps around quite a bit.

I may not change that quickly

Good luck,  
Adele

We'll see where effort takes us.


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